I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize