Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
