it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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