he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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