Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
