pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
