I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
