Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
