i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
