how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
