what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
