i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
