im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
