so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
