Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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