I think i peed on brittanys purse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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