some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
