So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
