All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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