Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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