dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
