Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
