just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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