someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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