is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
