I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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