Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
