As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
