Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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