Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
