I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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