Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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