My nipple is on Facebook.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
should my penis look like a turkey
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
