somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
