Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
