WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
