oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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