If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
