you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
