Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
