Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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