ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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