well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
