Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
