Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
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