I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
