I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
