You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
