Duck Duck Cougar?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
