Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
