is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
