sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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